So yeah, here's my Romeo's tale. Everyone has one, only thing is... im a girl. I guess I just wasnt lucky enough to experience the Juliet role that he did?
Heads up to everyone who didnt get told so, or isnt yet aware of this one essential bitter fact of life; its not so sweet, to naïve people. Thats right! Once you forget your pains and worries and create a happy little world of your own, reality like to smack you across the face. Thats right! It does!
Not such a nice thing to say I know, but what did I say, Life's not nice and especially to naïve people... So here goes nothing. It was me and him and then it wasnt me and him; just like that decieptful Juliet, who lied and played with everybody to keep her secret safe, mine did the same. Until one day, just like the bitte, disgusting tale of Romeo&Juliet, I woke up one day to realise, he'd left me for another, just like Juliet for death? Not a word, not a warning. One minute he was here, so close, closer to me than even my own heart. The next second he was gone, and my own heart had foresaken me. I was no longer anything, or anybody; I didnt feel like I was. I felt like I was a mass of hurt, hate and envy! I would dare to say my heart was broken, however I have no right to say such pitiable things, since I deluded myself and cheated on my own heart with another.
You all know that gut wrenching feeling, I know you do. Like a black whole? An empty space, that hollow feeling? Im sure your all thinking ahh, yeah! I know, I know. So that was the exact feeling. Thats why having friends is supposed to be a good thing right? But who ever said that? I mean with all the many friends I have, not being bigheaded or anything, not even one of them can make me forget for a minute the pain i feel? The thoughts in my head? The pit in my stomach?Neither can they understand my exact pain, I know it very well. So what is it that I expect?
Friends however har no good in a situation like this though are they, you all know it too. Those ever reliable words you'll always hear them say forget him/her, you'll be fine, how could he!?, dont worry?, dont cry even. BUT WHO WANTS TO HEAR ALL OF THAT! Who wants to be tiptoed around and treated like an injured deer!? Who want your pity that you're trying to write off as sympathy, because it sounds better!?
Doesn't it just feels like salt added to a wound!?
...If your my friend, what I really want is for you to tell me to Stop feeling sorry for myself!, That crying over it is fine, but not to get over Romeo about it!, and that life will go on, and i'll get left behind if I stop!. Maybe all I really want to hear is the bitter reality from another mouth? Someone who can crush everysingle feeling associated with him.
In situations like this, we all put on that ever infamous smile, that would suggest nothing was wrong, when really all we want to do is cry. Cry till you forget why your even crying, to the point when u realise you stopped breathing. Not out of regret or self pity; but to simply cry the hurt away, sucking the venom out if you will? What any Romeo really needs is a trustable and reliable Benvolio and Mercrutio; Aisha and Amanda; Luke and Alex. Or even just a little Ben&Jerry's. Someone we can look dead in the eyes of and cry like nobody is watching, no feeling stupid, pathetic, helpless or immature. Not even the feeling thats you have to suck it up and be strong.
If you've ever had friends like that then you'll know theres no odd uneccessary feelings, just the feeling of tears streaming down your face, your soul breaking. Even your mentality loses all stability. Until you feel exactly like you used to when you were a child, like the world has dissapeard and all you can see is the wound you'be inflicted on yourself by not being careful like you're told to everyday?
Because you were the naïve child that always thought, nothing would hurt you; but always cried the hardest when it did...
story of my life really? you couldnt call it much of a story, not that I would. Or do. Or maybe I just dont have enough confidence in myself to give it that much importance or meaning? Take this how you will, as whiney moany 17year old girl, someone who's lost the passion for love or life. Or maybe someone who grew up not trying to ignore the bitterness of life, or someone who exagerated it too much?
Lifes not easy, the naïve learn the hard way, the iggnorant hurt themselves, but life is what you make of it and only you know the footsteps you've walked and the emotions you have felt.
Guess it became a life lesson, from someone who hasnt even lived half a life time yet? But then again, I might already be at my half way point or beyond.
And if you've made it to this, the last sentence. Thank You for your time and all opinions are valued.